Pushing the PAUSE BUTTON!

After our Rosh Hashanah dinner guests had left us a few weeks ago, my daughter and husband retreated to our "music room".  Our daughter, who is 15, picked up the ukulele and started strumming and singing a favorite tune we used to sing when she was younger. I was in the next room finishing up dishes and feeling great joy as I listened in and sang along! Then just last week on Shemini Atzeret, came another bout of musical jamming followed by impromptu dancing around the house to a Mozart concerto. These spontaneous moments of joyful outbursts from our teen are pleasant expressions of our daughter's expansion into the space and time we and our Jewish tradition have provided her.  Our way of honoring Shabbat provides a weekly opportunity to enter this place. 

We have always set aside what for us is holy time wherever the space/place may be where we refrain from "Doing" or "Making" but where we just "Be", some might call it unplugged time.  It is space-time in which we can simply appreciate the gifts in our lives and in our world.  When our daughter was younger this appreciation often took the form of pretend play (how magical is a child’s imagination), stories, walks (even the stones and worms are miraculous and amazing), sledding and snow play, puzzles – Legos – word games, and so much more.  We remained unplugged for the entirety of Shabbat (or whatever holiday). 

As she has grown into her teen years she has the reference point that we provided for her and that she carries into a somewhat more independent practice.  She remains unplugged from her computer, Facebook, text-messaging though may decide that watching a movie is within the bounds of her Shabbat experience.  Often on Shabbat, behind closed doors, she reads the pile of books from the library that clamor for her attention during the week, trying to compete with practices and homework.  More rarely we sing or play games together enjoying each other’s company. Teens need this unplugged time to rejuvenate, to imagine, to wonder, to decompress so that they can more fully and wholly confront the expectations of their busy young lives.  


Creative Daughter's Artsy Phartsy Photo

Nurturing this practice and, might I suggest, ability in your child is a gift for their long-term physical and emotional health.