"Need As An Opportunity to Make a Difference"

As the waters from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy begin to recede, tree limbs and debris are cleared from roadways and property, and as press conferences with governors and power company executives become less frequent, the nation is witnessing the enormous toll that Sandy has left upon the shores of the mid-Atlantic and Southern New England States.  An unprecedented weather event they are saying!  The cost in lives and damage and dollars has yet to be determined.  One thing that is certain is that there is and will continue to be much need.  It is Paul Newman who famously is referenced as viewing need as an opportunity to make a difference.  It is also, as it turns out, a Jewish imperative; that is to make a difference in the world.  Further, our tradition tells us to engage in tikkun olam, repairing the world; to be a link in the chain that will make a difference.  Sandy has handed us this opportunity among so many others.  We have an obligation not to turn away.  Our children are watching, our children are learning. 



Here are some places that you may wish to begin.  Jewish Federations of North America Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund; Other Organizations , this includes giving blood as many blood drives in the affected region have been cancelled.  Ordinarily I would suggest the American Jewish World Service but their offices are in NYC and they may be in need of assistance too.  As more information becomes available and relief efforts continue, older children (tweens and teens) may wish to initiate drives to collect items that may be needed in shelters and on the ground (toiletries, blankets, clothing).  Younger children can be engaged in writing thank you notes or sending drawings to first responders in affected areas.  Such notes can only help relieve some of the strain that these individuals are under.

Jewish Jammin' for Kids - Part I


In the late '90's, we lived in the Toronto suburbs for a couple of years after our daughter was born.  To this small town girl, North York, Ontario felt like a huge Jewish shtetl (Jewish village of Eastern Europe), not to mention the large Iranian and Asia populations settled there as well!  Among the many interesting people that we met there (and there were MANY!), were Judy Adelman Gershon and David Gershon.  We first encountered this lovely young family checking into our rooms for a weekend retreat with all the accoutrements that come with babies!  Our little ones seemed an immediate connection and David approached us and asked me if I had attended Brandeis University, as Judy laughed and warned that he says that to everyone!  Well in this case we had both attended Brandeis during the same years and remembered each other from then!  That weekend we learned why this couple, with guitars and tambourines, were really the hit of the party!!  Judy and David, as this team is professionally called, were, at that time, just launching what was to become a highly successful career in the entertainment world.  They had just been awarded the 1998 Juno award for children’s album of the year, ‘Livin’ in a Shoe’.  This is the equivalent to a Grammy in the USA!  Needless to say, our short two years in Toronto, were greatly enhanced by our friendship with such interesting, funny, and creative people.  But what about their astounding music?  Their music is smart, witty, and tuneful.  They exploit a variety of genres including Jazz, Rap, Hip Hop and Calypso and and tell stories with energy and verve to enrapture your children and make you smile and even
laugh!!! 


The Covers of our CDs have faded from the years spent sitting in the car while we listened!

For a specifically Jewish flavor, their Rock N Roll Matzah Ball CD is a particularly delicious place to start.  Buckle your seat belts and enjoy the ride.  Some of my other personal favorites include BeanStock (their hilarious spin of Jack in the Beanstock) and Livin' In a Shoe (look for more recent recordings at this website as well).  Much of their music is appropriate listening for babies to grade school children and perhaps beyond. It's fresh music and it's pure fun!!!

 

Pushing the PAUSE BUTTON!

After our Rosh Hashanah dinner guests had left us a few weeks ago, my daughter and husband retreated to our "music room".  Our daughter, who is 15, picked up the ukulele and started strumming and singing a favorite tune we used to sing when she was younger. I was in the next room finishing up dishes and feeling great joy as I listened in and sang along! Then just last week on Shemini Atzeret, came another bout of musical jamming followed by impromptu dancing around the house to a Mozart concerto. These spontaneous moments of joyful outbursts from our teen are pleasant expressions of our daughter's expansion into the space and time we and our Jewish tradition have provided her.  Our way of honoring Shabbat provides a weekly opportunity to enter this place. 

We have always set aside what for us is holy time wherever the space/place may be where we refrain from "Doing" or "Making" but where we just "Be", some might call it unplugged time.  It is space-time in which we can simply appreciate the gifts in our lives and in our world.  When our daughter was younger this appreciation often took the form of pretend play (how magical is a child’s imagination), stories, walks (even the stones and worms are miraculous and amazing), sledding and snow play, puzzles – Legos – word games, and so much more.  We remained unplugged for the entirety of Shabbat (or whatever holiday). 

As she has grown into her teen years she has the reference point that we provided for her and that she carries into a somewhat more independent practice.  She remains unplugged from her computer, Facebook, text-messaging though may decide that watching a movie is within the bounds of her Shabbat experience.  Often on Shabbat, behind closed doors, she reads the pile of books from the library that clamor for her attention during the week, trying to compete with practices and homework.  More rarely we sing or play games together enjoying each other’s company. Teens need this unplugged time to rejuvenate, to imagine, to wonder, to decompress so that they can more fully and wholly confront the expectations of their busy young lives.  


Creative Daughter's Artsy Phartsy Photo

Nurturing this practice and, might I suggest, ability in your child is a gift for their long-term physical and emotional health.


 

Homework Blues for Jews

My daughter went to a Montessori school for 9 years and then homeschooled for 2 prior to enrolling in a public High School where she currently studies. Needless to say, homework really had never been a part of our lives before. What has been fascinating to witness is how enormous the work load grows to be very early on in the academic year and watching her negotiate that work along with her other activities. It is truly a learning process ...The Jewish spin on this issue is negotiating all of the fall holidays around this burdensome work load given that these days are regular school days in these parts. I have witnessed too many worries the night before returning to school to take this issue lightly. We, in this household, are sympathetic and distressed.  It is important to report that my daughter observes not only the High Holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but also the festivals of Sukkot, Simchat Torah and Shemini Atzeret and therefore takes the first and last days of that 8-day period off as holy days.  As such these days are ones in which we attend synagogue services, or commune in nature, and remain in the world of celebration or observance where our daily work is forbidden. Our family is truly in respite and rejuvenation time.

Our Sukkah has hosted guests, meals, games, music, reading and homework!

Thus the homework remains untouched until after Havdalah, the time of separating from the holy and returning to the every day.  There is no simple answer to dealing with the challenges of completing homework following absences but it requires special attention to prioritizing and accepting that some things will fall through the cracks and that the world continues to revolve.  This acceptance should be empowering yet goes against the grain of being an achiever and maintaining a high GPA.  (I recommend reading Wendy Mogel's "Blessings of a B Minus" for more insights.)  I cringe writing this because I was a student who put a lot of stock in my high grades as does my daughter.  Achieving a healthy balance is the key and the observance of holidays is one way that we might begin to confront our obsessive work ethic and help guide our children to healthier ways of being in the world.  You can substitute “my work” for “homework” in this post and uncover how you might manage your time off and your time on.  Related to this post, I will blog about how our family has embraced unplugged time in the context of our liberal Jewish observance.