Act Locally, Act Globally

I was recently in line at our local food coop having a brief conversation with an old acquaintance.  I found myself moving the conversation to my worries and concerns about the plight of many children in Syrian refugee camps.  I had just heard a segment on National Public Radio’s “On Point”, about the severe winter weather in Syria and the Middle East and how children in these camps are going without footwear and others are freezing to death (and surely starving as well).  This acquaintance responded that we need to act locally, take care of those in need who are in our midst before worrying about others.  It is true that I live in a very underprivileged community with people who are housing, food, and education insecure.  Ours is a community with overwhelming need…. and yet I was still taken aback.  Perhaps I was going into Holocaust mindset imagining the conditions of my recent ancestors in death camps at a time when much of the world stood by, unable or unwilling to intervene.  I know that with limited resources we need to make choices about whose good works we support.  However, we can easily be propelled to think about whose pain is worse – I dislike that question, it’s not helpful and nearly impossible to answer.  Seeing the inequities in our own communities as well as in the greater world – learning and trying to understand the sources and situations that contribute to this pain – this is behavior that builds compassionate individuals and communities who can work together, build coalitions, reach out to other communities near and far.  It takes a village to conscience-raise, build compassion, and do the good works, tikkun olam (literally ‘repairing the world’), to help our fellow citizens locally and our fellow citizens of the world. 

In an interesting article by Shlomi Ravid, the author explores the tension between helping your own and reaching out beyond to the greater world.  He bases his conclusions on Martin Buber’s writings “our individual identity is established at the meeting place with a concrete collective into which we are born and where we grow.”   Rabbi Hillel would concur, “ …if I am only for myself, who am I?”   In other words, to develop your sense of compassion, you must look not only inside, but also outside of yourself.  I would add that looking outside of yourself (your community) reminds us of our shared humanity and the imperative to help those in need.  I am reminded of the outpouring of compassion from around the world to the community of Newtown/Sandy  Hook, CT over this past year following the tragedy whose anniversary recently passed.  Shared compassion;  “that could have been us.”

On the other hand,  I discovered an example of a different sort of outpouring on the internet, an outpouring of indifference generated by a more myopic vision of only caring for my (or my group's) needs.  Comments generated by a blog post sharing the view that we concentrate our efforts at home and not around the world, garnered lots of support and a bit of outrage towards the other (including a ‘blaming the victim’ sentiment).  To my eyes, it read as a lack of compassion for others, rallying around the home team.  This is not the gift that we should be passing on to the next generation. 

Here is a link naming organizations that are helping with the Syrian refugee crisis.  And a Jewish organization specifically.

"Light"-ening the Load, Sisters!!

A short lapse in blogging but back and inspired as we near what has come to be called Thanksgivukkah!  I am particularly inspired to write following a conversation with one of my sisters-in-law, Rivka, whose family we’ll be spending much of Thanksgivukkah with.  Our conversation focused on the stress that many (usually) women feel this time of the year as they confront the socially- or self-induced pressure to create Martha Stewart/Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving meals for their family and invited guests. 

Though currently separated from much of her family by thousands of miles, Rivka grew up with her large extended family ever present and witnessed a generation of women who supported each other’s families throughout the holiday cycle and life cycle.  She reminisced with me about how most of the women would end up at the host home and busy themselves in the kitchen and dining room preparing for the meal and guests.  It was bustling, it was hectic but everyone had their special jobs and dishes to contribute and somehow this lightened the burden for any one family.  Today, so many of us, like Rivka, live far from family, and the responsibilities of life and vocation make it difficult to be present and supportive in such direct physical ways.  Here are some antidotes that could at least begin to lessen that stress:

·        Plan the menu with guests. Plan the menu with your child(ren)

·        Get the kids right in there peeling carrots or measuring ingredients or washing special dishes etc.  They can be quite helpful beforehand and on the day!

·        Guests bring dishes to pass or one course of the meal

·        Guests with dietary restrictions bring a special dish they are sure to be able to eat

·        Cook/bake as much as possible in advance (freeze if necessary)

·        If you celebrate with the same permutation of friends and family, rotate who hosts the holiday each year

·        Rivka came up with the idea of Skyping while preparing and cooking – a modern day technical approach that keeps the cooks connected and hopefully laughing!!  We plan to do that on Wednesday!

Remember that this unique overlap of Chanukah with Thanksgiving is a time of light and joy and thankfulness all woven together.  Take advantage of all of that good stuff even before the celebrating begins then share it with your guests when they arrive and surely whatever might fall through the cracks will seem trivial!!!

Here’s a fun recipe I made up for Thanksgivukkah – eat with latkes, eat it with your Turkey (or Tofurkey or whatever …) :

Apple-cranberry Sauce (amounts are approximate, have fun and experiment)

6 apples peeled and cut

½ cup fresh cranberries

¼ cup unsweetened pineapple juice

¼ - ½ cup water

(Add dry fruits if you like and cook with above ingredients)

1 tsp cinnamon

¼ tsp cloves

~ ½ - 1 cup white sugar (I believe less is more!)

Combine first four ingredients in a medium saucepan, bring to a boil then simmer until fruit softens (10-15 minutes).  Add last three ingredients and continue to simmer for 5-10 minutes longer as sauce begins to thicken.  Allow to cool then store in a glass jar in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. 

 

 

 

 

Torah Travel

I’m thinking that awe comes in many forms .  Being a very visual person, I am easily moved by awesome sites.  (However, that is not to say that listening to ‘Story Core’ on Friday mornings on NPR does not often move me to tears!! )

Living in a small Jewish community, it is sometimes those smaller (sometimes sensory) experiences and rituals that can be profoundly moving.   And so it was this past Simchat Torah (celebration and joy of the Torah) when we gathered, younger and older, in anticipation (written on everyone’s faces not to mention the comments from the children!) to celebrate the Torah together.   This was finally a year that we had enough hands to hold the Torah, completely unscrolled from beginning to end.  AWESOME SITE (surround sound visually)!!  Yes some of us had to stand on chairs because we were too small, and others had to support each other’s arms because we were a bit tired, but we managed to do it while unraveling the stories of our People, or as our Rabbi says, the DNA of our People.  We saw how the scribal text changes at the verses of the ‘Song of the Sea’ following the Exodus; how it looks like ripples and waves in the water.  Similarly the scribal distinctiveness at the end of the Torah, the ‘Song of Moses’, where Moses reiterates the laws and prescribes what will come next after his death when the People can finally enter the Land.  

….And everything in between – our holy stories, the ones we teach our children,

…and then the children physically supporting the unscrolled Torah,

…and the Rabbi running from section to section finding the little gems that we want to recall from the year’s recitation,

… and the excited questions from everyone, where is this and where is that…wanting to see our favorite stories in the context of the whole – why is that important to us?

…And the satisfaction of knowing where that story lives…

…and the re-scrolling of the Torah, back to resting stance, many hands again.

I know that I was not the only one with a little bit of glistening at the corner of my eye!  Thank you dear friends and community.

But very importantly, I think it is necessary to leave to posterity the wonderfully superb cheer from Team Leviticus from Simchat Torah 5774 (though our competition from the other 4 books was fierce!!) :

“in Exodus, Pharoah tried to kill us , so we moved over to Leviticus!”

 

Reflections

Endings and beginnings…  This time of the year on the Jewish and secular calendars makes me mindful of the cyclic nature of so much that we do; the progression of time, changes, transformations, and continuity.   Of course, the Jewish New Year and this season (the Yamim Nora’im – Days of Awe) are days of reflection upon ourselves; how are we are living our lives; what adjustments can we make to allow us to live more meaningful lives?  Riffing off of the word ‘reflection’ -  my mind immediately conjures the visual of sitting on the banks of a reflecting pool and seeing myself and my surroundings.  There I am in all of my glory, entwined with all of my successes and all of my pain and pitfalls.  Looking closer, I begin to see elements of the stories that are my life- the turbulence and the calm glassy stretches, the surprises, humor and gifts – that seed my life.   After some time, I find myself looking in that reflection, specifically for the people in my life who I have loved and do love –impossible to comprehend that reflection without them.  They have shaped so much of who I am.  Ultimately, though, it is me who takes full responsibility for that person staring back at me.  I am hopeful that in the year ahead, my hand will not recklessly throw a stone, damaging my image, but instead that it will gently toss a pebble making interesting waves and lovely distortions adding interest and strength.  And so may it be with you.  Shanah Tovah umitukah and may you be written in the book of life!

In the Greater World sans Parental Units

Well it has been 3 weeks since my daughter has returned from her 5 week trip to Israel this summer with peers.  Some of the initial exhaustion and excitement has abated but much will linger and sort itself out as she moves forward into the hectic school year.  I believe that the experience of travelling, living and working with peers for an intense period of time in your teen years can profoundly affect how you see and live in the world.  When that world happens to be Israel – with its diverse culture, extreme environment (desert), difficult politics, and milieu of urgency - that experience has its own unique sensibilities.  Trying to unravel and understand these issues with peers was surely exhilarating and challenging. 

An emphasis on positive peer-engagement no doubt helps produce more self-confident young people, teens included!   Practicing skills such as listening, story-telling, arguing, supporting, and advocating at younger ages can certainly prepare a teen for more social success and peer-leadership.  At home, we have tried to do the best that we can to provide these opportunities.  But I also must credit my daughter’s experience at our local Montessori pre-school and elementary school for also providing a strong foundation for these skills.  Her summer experience was the next big jump in honing these skills.  [I should also maintain that positive engagement with diverse individuals of varying ages is also an important set of experiences - a topic for another post perhaps!]



Our daughter avec (with) parent in Israel in her younger years.

Here are some things that I discovered about my child this summer after her intense peer experience:

1.      That she has enormous resiliency and self-care skills – even when feeling anxious, tentative and unsure, she envisioned that she would emerge gracefully on the other side, and did.

2.      That though she is a fairly quiet kid, she built strong positive relationships with both genders.

3.      That her participation in activities involving teamwork, disagreements, and the endurance of a couple of somewhat unpleasant experiences, tested and strengthened her resolve, problem-solving skills and confidence.

4.      That her relationship with Israel has grown and remains strong despite her ability to be critical of it too.

 May all of us continue to grow in diverse ways as we go from strength to strength!

 

Driving me Crazy - In Reverse Gear!

My daughter will soon get her driver’s permit; this rite of passage instills some degree of fear into even the most stoic parents … and I am probably not the most stoic of parents (ask my daughter)!  So this afternoon, after giving my car a quick sponge bath (to get rid of the syrupy sap slopping [I just like the consonance of 'slopping' but it is actually dripping!] from my neighbor’s beautiful Oak tree) on my way across town, I found myself thinking about the best way to be a driver … the conversation with myself brought me around to kavannah, intention.  Now to be fair, I had also been reading a book by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (Davening : A Guide to Meaningful Jewish Prayer) and had just finished his chapter on kavannah where he guides the reader to think about and act to allow oneself the space, gratitude, openness, permission to connect with GOD or (for more secular folks) the mystery  beyond us, in deeper and more meaningful ways.  So the question became – Can one drive with Kavannah? 

I witnessed this in rural Bavaria a few years ago!!

Now I know what you astute readers are thinking, why would it improve your driving to work towards maneuvering yourself into a more spiritual state? Well, I think it’s more about the intention aspect – to bring yourself to the act of driving, understanding that you are now in relation with a powerful machine capable of killing anyone, really, and understanding that you have the power and responsibility to deliver yourself and your passengers safely.  It means paying attention to what surrounds your car (use those mirrors!) but not your cell phones and videos and what-not. It means knowing and trusting your skills behind the wheel and when to say “I can’t drive right now.”  It means staring road rage in the face and declaring that you will not succumb to it. These actions, no doubt, may be difficult for many of us. Perhaps that’s the point!  Reb Zalman explains that the act of praying may become rote for many of us (just as the act of driving becomes rote after a while) and though that rote-ness may be a source of comfort; it may not provide meaning and lift us spiritually.  Instead, we might ask “What is my purpose in being here?”, “How shall I embrace kavannah?” Similarly, our comfort behind the wheel makes us complacent, forgetting our purpose of driving safely.  Thus my challenge is to consider kavannah before turning the ignition.  May all of us, newer and more experienced drivers, work to stay in the moment.

July Fourth – With Liberty and Justice (and Questions) for all!

Today I am thinking of delivery/deliverance.  



US flag waves at Ellis Island

 

- On this day some years ago, my only child was born in the city of Brotherly Love where our Declaration of Independence was signed



Portrait of George Washington at the Old State House in Hartford, CT



-and of course, on this day our country was delivered from colonial rule towards Independence (in that city of Brotherly Love). 



Red Coats hang at John Adams' homestead in Quincy, MA



-Only days ago a friend’s daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl while my own daughter was safely delivered “on eagle's wings”, as they say, to the Land of Israel, Eretz Yisrael, declaring on a voicemail message “Hi guys, I’m in Israel!” 

 

Delivery: bringing a child into the world, into civilization; birthing a democratic society; bringing one culture to another (and back again)!

The alignment of so many profound gems can really pull at the heart strings and invite introspection. 

What does it mean to belong to a country, to have citizenship?  What do we really understand about freedoms that we have in our democracy and what do we take for granted?  What obligations do we have towards others; fellow citizens, visitors, immigrants and illegal immigrants?   Do we have Jewish voice(s) in this country?  What does that mean? How best should we use those voices? What are our obligations to Israel, a place where all Jews are eligible for citizenship?   What civic values do we want to pass on to our children?

July fourth is best celebrated when we stop to ponder its questions.  May yours be one filled with peace, liberty, justice, and happiness and yes, plenty of questions.